essaycomments


 * Essay Comments - Adobe File**


 * Essay Comments**

The purpose of the following numerical system is to expedite the process of editing and revising essays. When students see numerous errors of the same number, they can identify their mistakes easier, and I can differentiate my instruction more appropriately based on the challenges of each student.
 * Rationale:**

**Ideas and Organization**

1. Topic choice is too broad/general; the essay impossible to cover satisfactorily in the allowed number of pages. 2. Topic choice is too narrow; the essay too difficult to support adequately.
 * Topic**

3. Title is too general, simple, and/or lacks creativity
 * Title**

4. Needs an attention grabber 5. Missing a quote 6. Needs a **thesis** statement that provides **sufficient reasons** for your argument. In many cases, essays will often use at least **three reasons.**
 * Introduction**

7. Paragraph is missing a **topic sentence** 8. The topic sentence and the information included in the paragraph do not match 9. Missing a **quote** or **evidence** from another source 10. Paragraph does not contain enough **supporting details** 11. Details are very **difficult to follow** and do not seem to be well-organized
 * Body**

12. Does not **restate all reasons** provided in the thesis statement 13. Does not leave the reader with a **reflection of the subject's impact** on the writer, influence on society or the world
 * Conclusion**


 * Voice **

14. Voice of the writing **does not match the genre**; e.g., an essay uses too much language that sounds like conversation or an essay uses words that are too informal. Likewise, the voice of a narrative sounds like an essay.

15. Voice of the writing is **not appropriate for the intended audience**. Children versus adolescents versus adults. Formal versus informal. Business letter versus narrative.


 * Word Choice **

16. **Word choice error**: the definition of the chosen word does not fit within the context of the sentence 17. **Word choice confusion**: homophone or homonym errors like "to," "two," and "too" or "their," "there," and "they're." 18. **Word choice** is either too dull, repetitive, and predictable or too "over-the-top" and extreme Uses **mobile phone text language** and **unnecessary abbreviations**. 19. **Needs more specific and precise words** related to the subject at hand. For example, use the word "nocturnal" to describe an animal instead of the phrase "is awake at night and asleep during the day."


 * Sentence Fluency **

20. **Transition words** are not used often or effectively 21. Sentences **seldom begin in a variety of ways** 22. Sentences **seldom vary in length** 23. Details and quotations taken from research or other sources are not integrated smoothly into sentences.


 * Conventions **

24. **Incomplete sentence**; missing either a subject or a predicate 25. Incorrect **spelling** 26. **Comma splice** error (should use either a comma with a conjunction, a semi-colon, or a period with a capital letter) 27. Missing a comma in a **compound sentence that contains a conjunction**; run-on sentence 28. Missing a comma after an **introductory phrase or clause** 29. Missing a comma prior to a **quote** when the quote is a complete sentence 30. Missing a comma between **city and state**, or **dates and years** 31. Missing commas in a **listed** **series** of events or items 32. Missing commas surrounding **appositives** 33. Missing commas when **directly addressing a person** or a person's name (direct address error) 34. Missing commas to separate **coordinate adjectives** 35. **Pronoun agreement** or pronoun shift problems (Everyone/they versus Everyone/he or she) 36. Missing **apostrophes** that show possession or contractions 37. Must **hyphenate compound adjectives** (truck-shaped box; fifteen-minute presentation) 38. Must **punctuate titles**: bigger works (books, anthologies, albums, movies, website) receive //italics// or __underlining__ and smaller works (chapters, poems, songs, articles) receive "quotations marks" 39. **Capitalization** errors: proper nouns, beginning of a sentence, or words in a title (not including conjunctions, prepositions, and articles: a, an, the) 40. **Dangling Modifier** or **Misplaced Modifier**


 * Presentation **

41. Lines are not **double-spaced** 42. **Title** is non-existent or is formatted incorrectly: use only a centered title in 12 pt. Times, without bolding or italicizing. 43. Paragraphs are **not indented** 44. **Heading is incorrectly formatted**: not double-spaced, not left-justified, missing name, teacher, class, or date. 45. **Margins** on the top and bottom are **not one inch** on all sides.

46. Not **double-spaced** 47. **Extra space** left between the title and first entry or between entries (whole page must be simply double-spaced) 48. Not **left-justified** 49. Does not contain at least **two sources** 50. Does not follow Modern Language Association **(MLA) spacing and punctuation** within the entry
 * Works Cited**


 * 2011-2012**
 * -Object pronoun versus subject pronoun ("Him and his brother went" versus "He and his brother went")**
 * -Subject-verb agreement ("There is many animals" versus "There are many animals")**